Are you still wrapping your mind with fresh tissue paper inside the same box of perceived concepts of reality, function and social protocol? Or are you willing to ask better pointed questions to gain favorable outcomes? Why do you consider that you are coming from this ‘BOX’ perspective in the first place?
I have a friend who shared an emotional story about getting out of high school because she was always bullied. Only now she realized that the emotional state she identified from the past, still holds true today. My question is why and if this has any reflection on how we resist change?
I asked her why does she still feel this way when she finds herself in certain encounters? It would seem she exhibits the same behavior given particular roles she recognized from the past that play out in her head, even to this day.
As in most social behavior we craft during life, it would seem options were not presented when she found herself in this situation. The system did not permit her to believe she could come to authorities for protection. The teachers did not seek out signs of physical and emotional pain to begin the process of discovery and halting the abuse. Classmates did not exhibit a unified front against bullying. The possibility of attacking first was never instilled in her as a first offensive – you know, the best defense is offence. There was no support mechanism that provided for alternative options given this particular situation a child, this child found themselves in. The system was broken.
Now many years later it would seem that as adults we do not have to be concerned with this level of interaction – WRONG! It is hard-wired into our behavior and we exhibit the same behavior in adult social group at work. A Silent Epidemic
Exercise. Question the past environment. Question your perceived character. Question what role you would have played to change the situation – emotional state. Now move the scenario forward into the present asking yourself the same questions. Do you still need the same emotional link, feelings, outcomes and or attention? Are you willing to allow yourself to explore alternatives? Can you see, do you want to see yourself in more favorable outcomes given the situation at hand?
By asking better questions and being aggressive on the ‘issues’ and not on ourselves we can realize better results and not just an incomplete answer. Note, answers implies completion. Results imply best and or optimum approach given the current and available resources in addressing the situation. Since, for those that have circled the sun a few times know, the situation will present itself again and require us to discuss these same questions and situation with a different set of eyes. Realizing that we are not in the same situation under the same restraints frees us to bring to bear many more potential outcomes and not an answer drawn from our perceived limiting experience. The Bias of Thought
By seeking outcomes we can elicit options we have not thought of before.