Buddhist nun in Choglamsar in the Leh Valley

Who Are You Working With?

Before you make a comment about this being another article on the liberties of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer or questioning individuals in our society, let’s refocus our attention on the intent of any interaction with another person and the conversations of how we think about any given topic before we speak.

…and not a word has yet been said as to what this article is about. Only the title gives away a hint.

Allow me to put things in perspective. We actually work in our heads and not in physical space. Think the expressed concern…”Where are you”. Hello, anyone home”. “Don’t mind him, he is a space cadate”, and on and on and so forth.

Yet these expressions of reeling in our fellow brethren amounts to ridicule, slander and ostracizing those we fail to communicate with. Our behavior is manifest in blame on others. Our inability or unwillingness to actively listen to and construct a meaningful conversation quickly errod down the path to indifference. Think bullying at its core  .

The difference of one or the many is used to drive a wedge between constructive conversation, personal engagement and the potential for mutually beneficial discourse. Consider parent child conversations. Establishing networks across all manner of opportunities now missed. social and political dialogues initiated with the inappropriate intent. Can you add your scenario to the mix of missed opportunities simply because you jumped into the cool aid without a little thought – intellectual and emotional capital is at play here you know!

6  Emotions Vulnerabilities
1. Emotions are normal and need  to be managed in a constructive manner. Not acknowledging this sets us up for an unrealistic perspective to the challenges
we face in life.
2. Listen to yourself talk.That voice inside needing  to express itself. If the conversation is not going your way does it mean you wont be heard? Does it imply you can get your point across. Allow the others to express themselves and then ask conversational, engaging, exploratory questions that can open the up to consider various points of view before the doors of listening/conversation are shut.
3. Identify the emotion. is it disappointment, fear of, frustration with, stressed because of, resentful due to,  annoyed out of expectations. Use the opposite point of view as a means to identify your expectations and align them with those you are in conversation with.
4. Consider those you are having a conversation with as aboard or committee – advisers/consultants. You want opposition in order to bring out the optimal results and or best possible outcomes based on what is under discussion. You want different points of views.
5. Acknowledge you are in the right frame of mind for a favorable outcome. What is your state? What triggers should you look out for that will disrupt the conversation.
6. its not personal, even if the other plays on that card. Elevate the conversation and create a collaborative mutually beneficial door for all to walk through as winners.


Thank you for reading this article.

Did you find this article interesting? Then subscribe for FREE to The Managing Change NewsReel Newsletter. A monthly perspective on world issues relating to managing life’s changes. Taking into account how we engage with ourselves (You the Id), peering into the Family with all its social dynamics. We will include past and current stories on the shifting landscape of Business and Careers with a realistic look at global issues over time and their impact into the future. Feel free to provide your perspective on any of the issues and topics I touch on as the true value of any exchange in interpersonal conversations is found in the differences we express.

Be seeing you!
Ronald M. Allen

 

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