In the book, Fundamentals of Interpersonal Communications, the authors Kim Giffin and Bobby R. Patton, speak about self communication as the first stage of sharing information and ideas.
A challenge that is recognized in today’s social interactions that supports our need to communicate effectively is our inability to arrest our inner voices. An emotional inner scream at those with whom we wish to connect and engage with. The ‘screaming’ is our impatience with and frustration for our own need to have one another accept and move out on what it is that we want to happen. A level of foreplay has been omitted in the process.
The last time you conveyed your thoughts to a loved one, to your children, in a social setting, at your house of worship, in a committee or board meeting, what was your disposition before you began to speak and how was your message, story, ideas received?
Fast reverse. Did you assess the playing field and ask discovery questions? Open ended fact finding to gauge the level of buy in of your stakeholders? In other words did you assess and confirm mummy and daddy (your stakeholders) were in agreement with your position and thought of process in addressing the matter? In psychology we call this assessing the client situation. In the medical field we call this ‘diagnosis’. Carpentry, my favorite, the process is referred to as measure twice cut once. And in social interaction we call this building rapport.
Take the time to hear yourself first before assuming others understand what your want and or are asking for. The road to a four way win is much easier than you think.